(94) 8 Months, Already...

My, how time flies when you have to "do" life.

We have survived 8 months without her. 8 months continuously thinking about her, wondering why she was chosen, remembering the day she was born, remembering the days that followed, living our lives without her.

Some days are harder than others, most days are good. Being pregnant doesn't make it any easier. In fact, in some ways I think it makes it that much harder.

One night last week I completely caved in on myself. Brendon was out of town and I hadn't been sleeping well at all. The wave just came over me... and I let it take me. I cried so deeply. I long to have both my girls, to hold both of them, to love on both of them. Buglet knew her momma was hurting. I would like to think that she kicked a few times out of reassurance to let me know that everything will be okay.

My heart aches. It always does. But generally, the pain only surfaces when I am anxious, stressed, and very tired.

I fear that I will forget our Angel Baby. Then it's during those types of moments that I am reminded that forgetting will not happen. My heart and soul remember her too much.

I miss you, my sweet girl. With everything ounce of me, I miss you. And with even more, I love you.