(59) Bittersweet...

So as you all know we closed on our house on Friday. But since there are still some things being worked on on the inside, we cannot move out of the apartment yet. No worries though. The weekend was spent working on the outside. I won't go into detail since I plan on blogging about our weekend adventure in another post which will include pictures.

So as I was taking a break and enjoying the comfort of the lawn chair a realization came to me. We really bought this house because I was pregnant and we needed more space. This was the house that I envisioned bringing home a brand new baby to. Of course, it wasn't the ideal thing to set closing for a month before the baby was due. But nevertheless, the thought of it was awesome. Yes at the time, I was on cloud 9 wearing my rose colored glasses. So had everything gone "correctly", I would be in my final month of pregnancy.

But here's the deal: If I was still pregnant with our daughter, I would not have been able to enjoy the moment with him. I would have not been able to help him in the yard and learn how to do new things. We would have missed those bonding moments that make our marriage stronger. It was in that moment that God spoke to me. Instead of rushing to get into the house so we could bring our daughter home, we are now able to take our time and put lots of love into the house. Then one day, bring her brother or sister through the door into a home that is full of calm and peace, and not a home full of stress and hurriedness. He is allowing us to make our home and prepare a way.

It's bittersweet. And I know it might not make any sense. But I have to keep believing that God is in all of it.