Yep. That is where I am. In a rut. Not a deep rut. More like the kind of rut you get your bicycle stuck in and for some reason you just can't get the front wheel to budge. That kind of rut.
The motivation to take care of myself is just not there. I know I need to. I know I want to. But the wanting is apparently not enough to really change anything. I need to run more. I need to do more cardio. I need to exericse more. I need to quit eating crap. I need to start watching what I eat.
But it's hard. Especially when the little voices are constantly attacking me.
I don't need to be rescued... though some encouragement would be nice.
I have to come clean with myself. And I guess this is a start. It's not about fitting into a certain size jeans (although I do have to fight that thought CONSTANTLY). It's about being healthy inside and out, at the size that I am.
How easy it has been to just let myself go. To find comfort in being lazy and eating crap. Felt good. Feels good.
Why does it seem so hard to take care of myself, when a year ago it was so easy?
Monday, March 22, 2010
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Mere, I am feeling the exact same way! Except... I guess mine does have a LITTLE to do with the "size" thing, because I have a wedding dress that I need to fit into in a few months!
ReplyDeleteBut I'm totally with you on the motivation part. It used to be so easy for me. I loved working out and thought it was fun to plan out my meals. I ate VERY clean and didn't let people influence me to eat crap. I feel like the complete opposite right now - all of those things feel like huge chores and I would much rather lay on the couch, watch lifetime movies and eat. ugh.
Umm... I was going to try to encourage you but I guess I don't have much encouragement to offer!
LOL, Betsy!!! I completely understand the wedding dress issue. I look back on it and think why did I strive so hard to just not gain any weight for the sake of wearing the dress. Then I see my wedding pictures and am reminded how good I looked. ROFL!!
ReplyDeleteJust knowing that there is someone else who is struggling is encouragement that I am not alone.
We can do this.
Love ya!
I will hold you both close in my prayers. I think spring coming will help everyone get out of their ruts! I wish I could give each of you a hug in person!!!! I wish I had magic words to say that would help, but I don't. The journey is hard and the road is steep. You will climb up out of the pit and be amazed at the person you have become!! There are big plans ahead in your life for hope and blessing!!
ReplyDeleteI just had this SAME conversation with my husband!! I have started back to the gym with a trainer 2 days a week, but that is all I can make myself go! The eating part is better than usual, but the rest of the cardio that I need to do is unbearable! I have so many other things I'd rather do and I just cannot do a measly 40 minutes of good for my body, not to mention my family, exercise. My trainer even suggested I break it up into 2 twenty minutes sessions....that didn't work either! I just don't have the motivation like I used to. The next thing I am going to try is to post my goals up around the house so that I see them all the time! Maybe that will get me in gear. I will also pray that we will have that motivation restored! Hope you have a great day!
ReplyDelete(((Hugs)))
Stephanie
P.S. That new blog is one of the things that keeps my mind preoccupied! :)
Michelle,
ReplyDeleteWhat a joy to have you follow my blog. I tried to find your blog through your following but I guess I am not a techno-savy as I thought. So yay, for your comment! I found your blog and am following you now. Go God!!
Stephanie,
Yeah, I go to the gym 2 times a week with my trainer and that is about it right now. I used to run all the time. It's just been hard when I have been feeling like what's the use of taking care of my body when it betrayed me. But I am learning not to think that. I am going to start from the beginning and focus on my baby steps. We will get there again. Like the turtle, slow and steady wins the race.
M